itchy feet

Eerie Japanese Tunnel

2008-10-27T19:50:00.000-07:00

When my friends and I went off to Camudmud, Island Garden City of Samal we dropped by to a known Japanese tunnel that was said to be a hideout of a Japanese soldier during the American liberation. It was here that this soldier hides from the prying eyes of the unified forces of the Filipino and American soldiers who were scanning the area for outlawed Japanese enemy.

The tunnel is just a 10 meter long from a cliff opening of an open sea. Fossilized fishes and clams were embedded to tunnel’s ceiling and walls indicating that the tunnel itself was reached by the salt water during high tide. How the Japanese soldier managed to hide himself during that time we don’t know.

Above are some shoots of the tunnel taken from the inside towards its opening. However, how much we intended to get a better picture what we get are all like these.

Jade Vine

2008-10-23T04:51:00.000-07:00

Almost like plastic but nevertheless very real.

The Coral Vine

2008-10-22T05:26:00.000-07:00

What a color!

The Albino Peacock

2008-10-10T05:18:00.000-07:00

I took this one during one of my many trips to Eden Nature Park.

Is this just a Case of Gullibility & Greed or More?

2008-05-29T23:18:00.000-07:00

I wag my head in disapproval when one of my officemates narrated to us on how a Property Assumer approached him for guidance. The person tried to apply for a refinancing option of a loan in behalf of the Housing Borrower. However, his request was denied since the Deed of Sale & Assumption of Mortgage in his possession is null and void. Why? Here's the catch: the one who sold and signed the document is the Caretaker, not the Borrower/Property Owner.

An identical case also happened when I was still in my former company. This lady approached me to ask for the status of a certain housing loan. If not for her hand-carried Deed of Sale & Assumption of Mortgage, I would not divulge her needed information. When I verified the said account, it was already consolidated and the Title was already transferred in the name of the company. The account was also scheduled for bidding on the following Friday. I advised her to post a higher bid rationalizing that someone might outbid her in just a centavo. If that would happen her P150,000.00 which she said she paid to the property owner would be considered unrecoverable financial damage. Good that she followed my advise and won the bidding.

The Seller of the first case is obviously greedy while in the second case very subtle. However they both tried to capitalize on the property before leaving. And they were successful. In the first case, the Seller has no legal authority to contract the property to another person since he is only a Caretaker. In the second case, though the Seller (also known as the Mortgagor) is the property owner yet his legal authority ceases when the redemption period of his foreclosed property expired. By law, the rightful owner now is the Mortgagee.

As for the Buyers, they purchased the property because it was cheap - and that's gullibility (greed too). They thought they availed a bargain on a prime property but instead they got the opposite. A wasted time and money for a simple stupidity.

Off to Nowhere

2008-05-28T23:02:00.000-07:00

I was always curious on how true is this place every time I view footages aired by ACQ Ministries (Is this their correct name?). To satisfy my curiosity, I and my fellow band members made an appointment to visit the place. After booking, we were granted a gate pass. Around 9 in the morning and although delayed I and my friends started our way to Tamayong, Calinan, Davao City where the Covenant Mountain and Prayer Center of the Apollo C. Quiboloy - Kingdom of Jesus Christ, The Name Above All Names is located. We reached the place after an hour and greeted by their Security Force - the TF Davao (don't ask me coz I'm surprised too)who manned the 1st gate. We were directed to disembark in the 2nd gate and again a TF Personnel verified our reservation. Before the tour, a lady personnel conducted a short briefing on their Rules then assigned Neneng (ACQ Member) as our tour guide. Then off we go touring. Here are some mementos of our escapades inside the Prayer Mountain.

The Indoctrination Area. Har... har.. har... Just kidding. Take note of the white circular area at the left. That's the Helipad.

One of the gazebos in the garden. The garden is very clean. You can't see a single speck of garbage or dried fallen leaves there.

Inside David's Coffee Shoppe. Here you can choose variety of fresh fruits and coffee to enjoy. Pizza is also served upon request. At the left hand corner is the Souvenir Shop.

Pastoral Palace. Massive, isn't it?

Jump for Joy. We're not the Hi5, we are the Hi8 (count us right). Har... har... har... Of all the pics taken that day this is what I like most.

Villas from here to there. Who would know this is not Europe since it looks like one.

Right Foot In as we sealed our escapades.

Martha's Restaurant. Palacial isn't it?

Inside the Restaurant. Looks like abroad?

The Food they served. It didn't spilled out. It's still inside the plate.

Outside Martha's Restaurant.

Vista Lounge.

You might be interested to get there so here's some facts. The place is 50 kilometers from the heart of Davao City. Bring your own ride since the place is approximately 13 kms from Calinan Proper and some portion of the road is still rough. Take note that you just cannot gate crash there. You have to Book and Register then pay P200.00 for your food. No registration fee. That's the basic information.

And oh I am not a member of this religious group.

The Howl Praise of San-san

2008-05-20T23:59:00.000-07:00

Have it crossed your mind that God can work miracles also for His other creation other than humans? I never have until San-san came into my life.

He was the ugliest puppy I ever saw in my entire teen life – big droopy eyes, bald withered tail covered with ticks, curled ears eaten by leprosy, and a dull brown balding coat covered his emaciated body. Revulsion and pity warred inside me.

“What will I do?” I asked myself while immobilized by indecision.

“Will I drive this mongrel away or adopt him. Nah…. Better inform the others first.”

I ran inside our house and found my aunt preparing our supper.

“Auntie, I saw a puppy on our portico,” excitement course through my body. “Come and see,” I took hold of her hand and dragged her outside.

“Hold on,” my aunt replied. “Your grandmother brought that puppy this morning while you are still in school. It’s from her cousin’s. She took pity of him when she knew that pup will be abandoned to die alone. She just asked to have that pup and here he is,” she squatted with me to inspect closely the pup who is now curling to feign sleeping.

“But, he’s so ugly….” I replied.

“I know, but grandma brought him here. Perhaps that pup will recover from the disease. What he need is regular feeding and care. And I think that’s what you are going to do,” patting my shoulder in reassurance. “Come on, let him rest.”

Early Saturday morning, I took a pail of water, mixed a detergent soap in it and took a sponge and washed the ugly mongrel we fondly named San-san. With so much trembling he howled so loudly as if in pain trying to run away from me. I persisted and occasionally patted his head in reassurance that all will be well. And out of pity I prayed that God would heal this mutt even though I’m not sure if He will hear my prayer since San-san is just a dog.

After closely nursing him for a time God heard my prayer and I witnessed how he regained his health. The once emaciated puppy became a healthy dog. The only remaining evidence of what he has gone through is his curled ears.

I thought he will be well for a long time. But I was wrong. One day, I found him curled in his favorite place in the portico, motionless. I thought he was only sleeping. But when I called his name he never responded to my call which was strange to me. He usually wags his tail and lifts his head in response. Only this time he was not so I nudged him by my heel and felt his coldness. I was alarmed. I bent down and inspected him. But I was startled to what I discovered, his mouth is frothing. He was poisoned. I quickly ran inside the house and looked for a remedy. I found nothing. In resignation, I went back to him and patted his head. I prayed, “God, no way can I bring my dog to the veterinarian for we are three miles away from the nearest town and you know that. No one would give me a lift with a poisoned dog. So please heal my dog again. If You have done it before so why can’t you now?”

I don’t have that much faith to raise a dead much less a dog so with a heavy heart I left my dog to die. To console me of his impending death, I pulled out one of my praise cassette tape and played it on. The sound of the gospel singer filled the air. His voice filled with praise as he sang “Glory, glory…. Hallelujah since I laid my burdens down….” boomed.

After I while I checked on my dog but he’s nowhere to be found. Excitement arose in me again. “Could it be God answered me again this time?” And I was not wrong…… He did. There was San-san in the grassy part of our lawn, weak but alive. My heart filled with praise on this second miracle.

Looking back to these miracles, I now can say God’s power is not confined for humans alone. It is available to every creation whose lives will give Him glory. And He performs miracles and answers our prayer in His own timetable. No matter if we see His answer gradually or instantaneously as in the case of my dog San-san, God works in His own time.

But wait a minute; do you know the response of my dog to his latest miracle? Howl praise; that’s what he’ll always do every time I played the cassette tape back on. And on that particular song he will always stop any activity he is doing, took a position in front of the cassette player and gave his loudest howl. And he will never stop until the song ends.

Is the Bible's English Translation Fallible?

2008-05-16T03:53:00.000-07:00

Last week I was invited to a farewell party of a churchmate who will be joining her husband in Hawaii. During the course of the dinner I happened to pass by a table where a pastor known to be a legalist talking to an elder of the church where I belong. That pastor is harping about how 60% of the English Translation of the Bible is in error. Stressing that only the original text in Hebrew and Greek languages in which the Bible is written is error-free. Irregardless on how pure is his motive to call the believers to the "Original Bible" as he says, he is undermining the sanctity and effectiveness of the Book. It is like saying that the English Translation is not to be taken as God's Word and therefore has no power to change lives. This makes people lost interest and therefore will shy away from the English Translation. And because not everyone knows these two languages people would have to wait for the interpretation of those who knew these languages .... probably like him who studied it by himself. If this is so, people are building one's faith on man's knowledge since there is no source to verify the authenticity and Biblical correctness of the interpretation of this pastor. If people would just accept and wait on what was being preached to them sooner or later they would find themselves already a cult.

The pastor's move is an attack to the very foundation of our faith in Christ Jesus - the Bible. I don't know if he is aware on what he is doing or the effect of his teaching to other believers. I don't know if he knows what Sola Scriptura is. But if not he should make some research. After all, he projects himself as internet savvy where he got these teachings.

Lesson From My Son

2008-04-28T04:47:00.000-07:00

My six years old son Joshua gleefully declared infront of my Bible class of ten year olds that he is coming with us on our planned class party this December. I questioned him why? Innocently he answered back that he is coming because I am his father - the class teacher.

What a simple truth. But when applied to our relationship with the Heavenly Father we suddenly become amnesiac. We forgot that we have that privilege to enjoy what He possesses. We literally become that son who labored day and night for his father but neglected to give himself a break and enjoy what his father possesses in the "Parable of the Prodigal Son".

I am hoping that this simple truth would sink into my heart and will boost my faith in God to enjoy the privileges for being one of His sons.

Here I Am Again

2008-04-25T23:42:00.000-07:00

Here I am again after a period of silence. You might wonder why I stop posting blogs here. Well, I've been developing another blog site (www.phileagle.bravejournal.com) where there's more traffic. True enough in my first day I got 18 hits. But yesterday, I have decided to revive this site (www.phileagle69.blogspot.com). Aside from some articles posted here, the two sites are almost identical. Perhaps, someday the sites will run different courses based on subject matter. But not for now.

My Most Embarrassing Moment

2008-04-24T20:37:00.000-07:00

I always laugh out loud everytime I remember my accidental exhibitionism when I still went to a fitness gym here. That was when going to a fitness gym was not yet popular where only a handful goes to have a regular workout.

It was customary of me to take a bath after having my routine. I was inside one of the shower cubicle enjoying the cascading water hitting my breast and face. I turned around to rinse the suds off my back too then I opened my eyes. What I saw almost knocked me off my feet - the door of the cubicle was opened and I don't have anything on. Embarrassment crept into my being. I felt like having a fever - so hot I can basically point how the hotness travelled over my body.

Why would I not be embarrassed? The shower cubicle is facing the entire workout area. But those who have their routine at that time in my split-second observation would not dare look at the opened cubicle. I know for sure they have witnessed how I dance like having a show in a club (my personal naughtiness of course) during that short shower time while I was still having my back to them.

What did I do then? I slowly close the door then continued my shower. After I finished and changed, I got out as if nothing happened. I stayed a while longer to wait for someone to approach me. But that never happened. And I think they are more embarrassed than me.

No Regrets

2008-01-29T03:17:00.000-08:00

When my friend who was a permanent resident in Singapore invited me to work there I was torn between leaving and staying. I like to leave Philippines at that time and find a job in Singapore since he offered to shoulder my board and lodging. He said my income there would be so much higher compared with my income here in the Philippines. His offer was hard for me to resist if only I’m still single and unattached. But I’m already married and have two kids. One was four years old at that time and the other was eight months old.

I opted to stay. Yes, I may have a bigger income there but in doing so I would be loosing the growing time of my children where my presence was so needed. If I opted to leave I would lose the moments when my firstborn portrays Joseph in their Christmas play, and my baby took his first step. Those would be the moments I cannot grab back. But I witnessed all those and my sons were proud for my being there.

Today, my firstborn would always tagged along wherever I go and my baby who is one and nine months old would always attach himself to me like a leech whenever I’m around. Being a father is a hard job but I would never exchange it for anything else. Not even a high paying job away from my children. Perhaps I would do so when they are old enough and are able to process my absence and separation.

No regrets.

Adopting to Change

2008-01-28T03:02:00.000-08:00

This is the sixth day of my transfer from one unit to another. My company implemented a total re-engineering this month and I am one of the affected employees. But my movement was quiet a surprise for me. Bragging aside, I was the troubleshooter of my unit and my responsibilities are complicated to handle. Aside from gathering documents from another government agencies involved in the transfer of ownership of properties, my major task is to look after the prompt payment of the required taxes. Failure on my part to pay on time means personal payment for its penalties and interest, which amounts to 25% of the basic tax that would translate to almost 500 bucks per account. Of course I have diligently took extra care in doing my work that is why my movement was unexpected. Perhaps, having this importance I viewed myself indispensable. But I was wrong. There is nothing permanent in this world. Everything is subject to change.

But you may ask me why this happens? Well, I don’t know how you view it but it just happened that I was ”presumed” hired by another company who offered a bigger and better pay. One of my unit-worker suggested I would be transferred so my resignation would not affect the unit. The only thing I don’t like about this is that it’s false. Yes I applied to another company but I was not yet hired. Perhaps, there was a 90 percent probability I would be hired but I was still not. The unit head who just assumed her work position agreed and bingo I was transferred.

I felt bad at first naturally. But bitter? No way. It’s not me to wallow in bitterness. I’ve been known to be a natural chameleon. I can adopt to change. Just like the author of the book “Who Moved My Cheese” says, don’t resist change but embrace it. And so I’m embracing change.

You Are Worth Waiting For

2007-03-17T01:09:00.000-07:00

At a first glance of this topic, anybody can conclude that it is about “Marriage”. If you will just observe the people around you, you will notice that young people are so busy hooking up with anybody. But ironically, if the young ones are so busy getting married so many also is busy getting out of marriage. Why is this so? Tonight I would give three driving forces which I believed are some of the causes of failed marriages.

Driven by Social Norms
Last January early this year, I was invited to share some Biblical insights concerning “courtship, dating and marriage” in a class of second year college students in Ateneo de Davao University. It was so hard for me covering these subjects since I only have three hours to discuss this in the class. Even though our time was limited, I was able to share with them Biblical insights that I hope they will never forget as time goes by. But before I started the lecture, I asked the students first about their views concerning these subjects. One of their answers was they were just hooking up because everybody is doing it. And it rings a bell. Look around you and you will see couples…… everywhere ….. And I think this is because of the innate drive of man to find a mate just like Adam. Adam became sad when he observed every animal has some mate to call his own. Only he has no one. God eventually saw his longing and gave him Eve. I am not questioning this desire because it is God given. What am I driving at is the timing in fulfilling this desire. “Hooking up because everybody is doing it” is not reason enough to fast track your lives into marriage. So what if everybody is doing it? Will you allow the social norms to dictate your personal life? Regardless of what social norm dictates you, ask yourself if you are already emotionally mature enough to enter into marriage. If you cannot sustain the emotional responsibility being married to someone then give yourself sometime to prepare first before jumping into it. I mean are you ready to cut the time you are going to spend with your friends just to be with your spouse? Are you ready to have some time just talking together even if your hair is already turning to gray? If your parents and your spouse will have some arguments to whom are you going to side? Another factor I just cannot leave uncovered is your financial stability. Are you able to sustain your family financially? If two children are added, is what you’re earning able to make your family live decently? Remember that a hungry child cannot wait for tomorrow when in hunger pangs. Think about it.

Driven by Misguided Emotion
If you will tell me, “Sir I am so in love. That is why I want to be with him or her.” I will ask you in return, “Are you really in love or just infatuated?” Love and infatuation are just emotions. And emotions as we know it are prone to vacillation: euphoric today then melancholic tomorrow. I do remember what Dr. James Dobson – one known family psychologist in the US said in one of his book, “Go against your emotion.” And he is right because emotion is unpredictable. Joshua Harris when he was still twenty-one years old advised in his book “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” to refrain on early courtship especially if marriage is not yet in the picture because doing so is only playing with your emotion. He said, “Why invest time and energy when you are not ready yet for marriage?” And he is right because you’ll only end up hurt and confused. Remember, no one wins over emotion. If you cannot wait, are you ready then to face the consequence of impatience? In my opinion, the fruit of waiting is sweeter than impatience. And the emotionally mature person knows how to handle delayed gratification.

Driven by Irresponsible Behavior
Some entered into marriage because of pregnancy. But don’t you know you will never land into this predicament if you behaved responsibly? You say, “We just cannot control ourselves when we touch. Somehow there are some currents going on between us beyond our control.” You have known this weakness and you should have taken a preventive measure. You should have brought someone with you when going out dating. Or better yet you should have invited some couples or friends to group date with you. In this way you should have averted the consequence of unbridled lust. Gentlemen, women viewed us as sexual predators and they, the prey. It is high time then to change that view. Refrain from sexual conquest as Mr. J. Harris said, “Do not take that which is not yet legally yours.” “But sir, it just feels so right.” Let me parrot him again. He said, “The right thing on a wrong time is still a wrong thing.” And may I point out, and this is not for the gentlemen alone but for everybody, that in doing so you have not taken control of your life. You allowed your emotion to drive you in erratic behavior. You are not living responsibly. Even though it was the right thing in your own eyes for you to do on that time, I mean having premarital sex, it is still wrong. There is no way God would prohibit that which is good for no reason. If He says it’s a sin to commit such thing then it’s a sin. St. Paul said in his letter to the Corinthian church to “flee from sexual immorality.” Again, he advised Timothy to “flee the evil desires of youth.” Their struggles and our struggles today are so much the same. But the problem with us today is that the faculty on how to distinguish what is sin or not is being overshadowed by our misguided emotion. And emotion outside the will of God will always lead us to lust. And lust is a sin which is very addictive. You will keep on doing that which you know is unacceptable in God’s sight even though your heart is grieving. In other words you just put yourself in a prison of your own making. You terminated your freedom and you’re in bondage. Ladies, I’ll tell you if your boyfriend will say, “If you really love me let’s do it.” Well I’ll tell you ladies, your boyfriend did not love you because if he does he will not put you to dishonor and he will not harm you. Instead he will protect you and respect your person. If he really loves you he will wait. If you will give-in, both of you will subconscious incubating a mistrust that would eventually become a problem in marriage. I would also like to mention that when sexual gratification is already done the essence of sexual discovery is already gone. What’s there to discover when all is already partaken? If your purpose is sexual gratification, then why would you enter into marriage when you already enjoyed it minus the responsibility?

If you have committed such sexual sins and your heart is aching to follow what is right, what would you do? Take responsibility of that sin, repent and ask God for forgiveness. He is “faithful and just to forgive you and cleanse you from that sin.” Repentance involves changing of the mind not just of emotion. It means a hundred percent turn around from that sin. However, you must ask His grace to sustain you so you will not commit the same sin again. Then define your boundaries and talk to your co-offender.

“You are worth waiting for.” The key word here is “waiting”. Wait until you are emotionally mature; wait until you are able to sustain a decent life to raise a family. And wait until it is the right timing. May I point you to Jacob when he asked for the hand of Rachel, the younger daughter of Laban, it was then agreed that he would serve the latter for seven years. But when he finished that service, Laban tricked him by giving his older daughter Leah. Did Jacob dissuaded by this betrayal? No, he persisted. He again rendered another seven years for Rachel. That is what loves all about, willing to persist, patient and sacrificial.

You may say, “Will I still wait even my body clock is ticking? What if marriage passes over me?” So what if you remain single? Enjoy it… So what if you cannot have children? Does your fulfillment as a human depends on marriage and children? If you have not known yourself so well and know who you are today I think you should not marry. If you think marriage and children will make you whole then you are wrong. Marriage will reveal the real you. It is a mirror. This is just one reason why so many felt trapped into marriage – they are still groping for identity. Do not be a casualty then. Live responsibly.

Let me wrap up what we’ve discussed so far. I have given you the three driving forces that influence us today: they are the social norms, misguided emotion and irresponsible behavior. Be watchful that you would not fall prey by them.

Bible References: 1 Corinthians 6: 18; 2 Timothy 2:22; 1 John 1:9; Genesis 29:16-28

Black Beauty

2007-02-02T02:35:00.000-08:00

Dusk slowly hides your beauty like a blanket. But instead, dusk enhances it more.

How Can You Measure the Value of A man?

2007-01-31T03:26:00.000-08:00

Craig Brannon beautifully crafted man's worth in this article entitled "How Can You Measure the Value of a Man?" Let me share it with you and I hope you too will be shaken by his words.

The measure of a man is not found
In the things he own
Or what he saved for retirement
Or even his accomplishments...

The true measure of a man is found
In his faith and his heart.
It's found in the friends who stand by him
The strength he displayed under pressure
The sensitivity he unashamedly expresses
And his willingness to reveal vulnerability
Even at the risk of being hurt.

And it's found in the truth of his words,
The genuineness of his life
His unselfish actions
And the values he lives by.

Determine the measure of a man
Not by admiring his trophies
Nor by comparing him to other men
Either weaker or stronger.

Determine the measure of a man
By how much you trust him
And believe in him
And by how much his life enhances yours.

When What We Believe is Challenged

2007-01-31T03:07:00.000-08:00

When Pope Benedict XVI's quoted the fourteenth century Byzantine emperor Manuel II Paleologus in his homily regarding Islam last year in Germany it offended most Muslims throughout the world. But who can blame them when the quote runs like this: "Show me just what Mohammad brought that was new, and these you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached." They have a valid reason to be enraged. However, the quotation is just a part of the Pope's homily not the entirety of it. I don't believe he did that intentionally to enrage those who embraced Islam as their religion. Knowing the Roman Catholic Church, the Pope will not dare challenge the Muslims. But what was on the news after the said homily was made public is that it triggered protests and pandemonium to some Muslim dominated countries.

Even the Roman Catholic Church has its own share of protest. Together with other Evangelical Churches they clamored when the movie "The Passion of Christ" was shown worldwide, and the books of Dan Brown "The Da Vinci Code" and J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter were published. In their opinion, these things are destructive to Christian faith.

These are just some of my observations. I began asking myself these questions: what made us react negatively when someone's opinion, belief and conviction are made known to the public? Is it because what we believe is challenged?

I can't think of better example but that of the Pharisees during the time of Jesus. When Jesus taught something that does not conform to their beliefs they began to fidget and look for something they can accuse Jesus of. To them Jesus was a nonconformist nobody from Nazarene that poisons the minds of the people away from Judaism. What right does He have to do that? And yet they saw people thronged to listen to this Jesus. This enraged them more and more. They who were well educated with the Pentateuch didn't have that effect on these people and yet this Jesus did just that. To stop this madness they found Judas Iscariot who is willing to betray his master for a thirty pieces of silver. And finally, they were successful of their plan; they sent Jesus to the cross.

How I can forget the Apostle Paul before his conversion to Christianity. He was a pure blooded Jew (they are very particular of their genealogy), a zealous Pharisee, and a persecutor of Christians (it was he who watch over the clothes of those who stoned Stephen to death – the first Christian martyr). If not for personal encounter with Jesus on the road of Damascus, he will remain just as he was until his death.

I am only using biblical examples that I know of. But the same reactions shown on those times are also seen in us today. When a principle and opinion challenge what we believe as the truth we tend to push our defenses up, shuts our evaluating minds off and make us attack those who opposes us. It even pushes us to hurt someone just to prove we are right. And it also keeps us away from real change and made us oblivious to the fact that we have the freedom of expression not of censorship. But did it even occur to us that such reaction is only a sign of insecurity? Meaning we are not that really convinced to what we believe we believed. That is why we reacted that way. And mine you this is not confined to religious principles and opinions alone but also those common ideas we encounter daily.

When what we believe is literally challenged we should try to listen first, evaluate the arguments given and accept changes if proven right. But if we are not convinced to what was presented then we'll not accept it. No one forces us to conform. The decision is still ours. And we don't have to be too hasty in our reaction and judgment. We must give ourselves room for a change. In this way we are evolving for a better "us".

References: Bible, Philippians 3:4-6; Acts 7:57-58; Acts 9:1-5

What Would You do with a Million Dollars?

2007-01-31T02:47:00.000-08:00

What would you do if you won a million dollar?

Typical for a common person, I was naturally elated when a game controller of an online lotto emailed me the news. Of course, it was too overwhelming for me knowing that amount will be multiplied 50 times here in the country where I presently reside.

But that amount is too much for me. What would I do with that money? So I began to make plans. First I have to finish my house, secure my children's education, and expand my business. But there is more left of it. And I realize my dream of building an educational foundation is about to come true. This made me more euphoric. My mind is fast tracking plans. I have to scout a property and build buildings in it. While the project is on going I have to invite my trusted friends who also shared my vision to be board directors. Then delegate a unit to scout children who are unable to enroll in school because of poverty (there are many in this country) and hire teachers who have a heart for children. But the vision is still too big a task. Provided I can start it now but how would I sustain it if all that I have is already exhausted. So I have to look for patrons in the Internet who will pledge a child's education for a year. Then build a system so as to give the patrons information of their adopted child's progress in school.

Reality struck me. I don't still have the money. The first thing I'm going to do is to claim it first. I emailed immediately the lotto company of my intention. And in response they have given me a list of requirement for my compliance. But I became cautious and doubtful when one of it is my credit card number. Suspicion crept in my heart. I started to search information about this lotto company. And bingo, their operation is a big scam. Many are already victimized and I'm almost one of them.

I had a big laugh though because they fooled me momentarily. But since gambling is not in my system I have not paid a bet when I played that game over the Internet early this year. That made that game invalid. Yes, I don't have the money today but the vision I still have. And that what counts most.

But just for sake of a question: what would you do if you won a million dollar and multiply it fifty times?

The Freedom of Knowing and Being Known

2006-06-03T01:35:00.000-07:00

To know and be known – strength and weaknesses altogether, and still being accepted and loved, in my opinion is the highest and truest form of freedom! Being true to yourself is liberating. Though wrong decisions and mistakes are committed from time to time it is comforting to know that someone accepts and love you without a hint of judgment and condemnation.

However, accepting and loving doesn’t mean condoning because pointing someone to what is wrong and unacceptable is part of loving. But it will always end there. The weight of the responsibility and the accountability of the decision made will always fall upon the decision-maker. On the other hand, the reverse is also true. Failing to tell someone you profess to love to what is wrong and unacceptable is purely condoning. It is like saying, “Go ahead. Do what you want. I don’t care as long as I’m not affected.”

If you are my friend and I told you about something you perceive destructive to me and the people around me that it will eventually wreck havoc to my personal and interpersonal life and you failed to call my attention, I will begin to doubt if you are really my friend. Yes, it is hurtful to know you are objecting to what I considered good and morally upright. But I would pause for a moment and have a quick examination of your opinion. After analyzing the objectivity of it and found it more logically correct than mine then I would consider changing my outlook and course of action. But if I still insist on doing my own way and failed miserably yet you are still there just waiting to help without saying “I told you so” I would gladly run to you for comfort. For in you I found the true meaning of freedom!

One of my friends whom I considered the friend among my friends told me once that a person is lucky enough if he/she find even one such friend as I described above. And I dare say that finding two is already a blessing for seldom you will find a true friend who accepts and love you even to the point of death.

I have three! How about you?

Responsible Parenting Against Child Abuse Law

2006-03-30T18:32:00.000-08:00

(Continuation of Striking a Balance between Discipline and Love in Parenting)

Children needed someone who are firm, strong and who will impose structures for them to follow. Even if they resent you for being so, believe it or not unconsciously they needed you. Your only hindrance is the Child Abuse Law. According to the law, a belt buckle marks; handprints and pinches are indicators of child abuse. Is it possible then to discipline and guide a child without falling short of this law? I dare say no. There is always a possibility that you will lift your iron hand to impose punishment (with welts of course) from time to time unless you are not serious enough in your parenting. And unless you have not established the authoritative figure (in this case you) in your child’s life in his formative (0 – 4) years he would never listen to your mere guidance and instructions later. Does this law suggest how to raise a child without becoming a disciplinarian? I dare say none whatsoever! How then a parent would react when a child during a tantrum pulls the tablecloth and spoils all the foods on the table? Will a parents just say, “Hey, please don’t do that” in a weak and meek voice (take note that even a mere scolding can be considered a verbal attack which is prohibited by this law)? Or how does a parent would react when his child talks back and name him names. Will he just bat an eye and forget it did happen? If you as parent just do nothing when situations like these arise you become a compliant and inutile parent. This is what this law makes you. The law itself is good though but when it restricts the parents for becoming a disciplinarian at home the law becomes a Jekyll and Hyde instead.

Please don’t get me wrong; I am not totally against this Child Abuse Law. I too as a parent don’t want to see any child as a victim of abuse. I believe any abuse whether physical or emotional done in childhood will have greater impact in adulthood. But to delete the imposition of punishment as arm of discipline I strongly oppose. When you look at society today take notice how an adult who did not experience punishment during childhood days and who have tolerant parents interacts with one another. Are they better adults than those who got all the spankings? Some yes but they are just chosen few. My brother, a male cousin and I grew up under the roof of my maternal grandparents. Me who experienced all the severe punishment compared with my brother and cousin’s moderate spanking turned out to be whole, level headed and happy with my life (and I say this without arrogance instead with a heartfelt thanksgiving to my grandparents.) My brother on the other hand (because he was accustomed to get what he wanted and who has no control of his dark emotions) experienced disturbed life today due to unbridled emotions and wrong decisions. My cousin’s life is much worse. He is presently in prison. You may ask why we live different lives today even though we grew up under one roof? Perhaps, it is because the nature and imposition of discipline varied. And if you ask me if there was a time I became bitter and fearful for all those disciplines? Yes but those were the days when my still young mind cannot comprehend the motive of such exercise. But not right now. I now understand what my grandma always said to me afraid a blow; “I spank you because I love you”.

Let me close this topic about Responsible Parenting against Child Abuse Law by quoting an old advice from the Scriptures, “do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with a rod, he will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death.” (Proverbs 23:13, 14)

(To be continued….)

Parenting is Not for Cowards

2006-03-15T02:42:00.000-08:00

(Continuation of Striking a Balance between Discipline and Love in Parenting)

You may ask if it’s easy to strike a balance between discipline and love. I dare say no. Parenting is so difficult especially if you grew up like me having no father image to emulate and no appropriate textbook or a Lesson 101 as a guide for good parenting. The absence of it however should not deter you in aspiring what is achievable. The best you can do for your children is to guide them towards what is good and honorable. If somehow along the way you committed an honest mistake of judgment don’t be afraid to apologize. Children learn faster by what they see you do rather than by what you say only.

If you ask me what will be the effect of discipline on my son? I would say discipline alone will break and embitter him. But discipline coupled with love will make him a better person. That is why I have never forgotten to assure him of my love after every punishment. Restoration (the physical demonstration of love in this case) I suppose was lacking in my growing up years which I now know is also very essential in the wholeness of any person later in life. Not that I’m still groping for identity but looking back on my adolescent days there was a time I felt like a worthless person who lived fearfully everyday – afraid that somehow I have broken one of house rules again.

This experience propelled me take restoration importantly when applying discipline on my son because I don’t want him to experience what I experienced once – the bitterness, the fear, and the feeling of worthlessness. It would be my greatest achievement in a lifetime beyond wealth and other earthly things to see my son someday a whole person.

Striking a Balance between Discipline and Love in Parenting

2006-03-15T02:35:00.000-08:00

Imposing balance between discipline and love is the hardest task any parent can have. You become emotionally pressured whether to just tolerate your child’s misdeeds or to impose discipline. I can still remember those conflicting emotions when I administered the first disciplinary action to my then two years old son. He was insisting at that time to get his cousin’s toys. After promising to buy him his own, he refused to understand and kept insisting. I warned him to listen to me or else I will punish him. He began to cry and shout instead. I tolerated this for awhile. But when he saw I am not giving in to his demands, he vented his frustrations by pouring out his milk on the floor. That snapped my patience and has decided to begin the process of discipline. I got my belt and spank him twice on the foot. This surprised him so much he wailed so loudly. But instead of running away from me and find solace in his mom’s arms he just hugged my legs. This broke my heart I almost cried too. But I have to be strong and firm in my stand. However, for him to understand why I spanked him I have to explain the mistake he committed. I then stooped down, picked him up and looked him straight in the eyes and told him the reason why I spanked him. I told him also I punished him because I love him so much I don’t want him to grow up a vile person. I don’t know if he understood my explanation then but I did notice he began to be cautious.

After that episode he was still exuberant. He did not lose the spark of childishness. From time to time though a streak of naughtiness surfaces which is typical for boys of his age. However, during those moments he knew who the authority is. And that’s what important at that time.

When he was three, house rules were made even clearer to him and a sense of accountability was taught. From that time on I let him decide the kind of punishment he’ll get when he broke one of those rules. I called this participative discipline. And this strategy is more effective than the first.

Three weeks before his fourth birthday, he broke one of the rules again. But this time, I added one recipe to his usual punishment – partial isolation (I think this is the most effective disciplinary action). After a spank I picked him up and put him on a chair and told him not to leave until I say so. With only his mom as a lookout I then left to attend to my small business. After thirty minutes I returned to the house and found him still on his chair. I was so surprised but later had a big laugh when my wife – his mom told me how he fought boredom. He made the chair a stage for different performances and my wife his sole audience.

(To be continued….)

WHEN DUTY CALLS

2006-03-15T02:04:00.000-08:00

When my wife called that she was informed by the nanny that our four-year-old son is sick, I cleared my desk, pack my things up and rushed home. It took me approximately thirty agonizing minutes to arrive home after a 20 kilometer drive of my motor vehicle. There my son met me with a burning fever. I asked the nanny if my wife has already arrived from work. She said not yet. So I called her up to tell her I’m rushing our son to his pediatrician. But she wanted me to wait for awhile because she’s on her way. (My wife worked as a teacher in the heart of a village where 90 percent of the populations are Muslims. Vehicles are so scarce that it took them thirty minutes to take a hike from the school to the highway. But hiking is not an option for her. She’s heavy with our second child and is expecting delivery this month.) Fortunately she was able to hail a vehicle and she rushes home.

After awhile she arrived and off we go to the pediatrician with my mother. Along the way, I talked to my son and told him the possibility of the doctor to take blood samples. He then began to cry because like me he’s also afraid of a needle. My speculation was wrong though. After a thorough examination the pediatrician just said my son got only a bug. He just issued a prescription and off we go to the mall. (My son only agreed to see his pediatrician if we’ll proceed to the mall afterwards.) There he demanded food to his heart’s content then took a bump car ride. That was his version to fight fever…..

Perhaps, I’m an atypical father because that was not the only incident I rushes home when my son is sick. My officemates asked me once why? Here’s my reply: If I’m going to relinquish to my wife the responsibility of bringing our son to the pediatrician alone how then can she managed when blood samples are extracted knowing she has a low tolerance to see spilled blood? (Once she fainted when a pin pricked her thumb.) Not that I don’t trust my wife but there are times I should compensate her weaknesses by just being there and taking in charge of everything. Besides patience is not one of my virtues. And to wait for the examination result in a distance is like enduring a loaded gun pointed at me. In my personal opinion too parenting is a shared responsibility. And responsibility calls me to be there. Then I should be there.

But not all fathers are privileged enough like me to spring to action when family duties call. There are those who are on work-related travels that going home is not immediately attainable. There are also those whose employers are inconsiderate of such situations. These are understandable too. But one should not stop to explore all possible means and ways to deliver the primary responsibility to the family.

With this in mind I am calling forth the fathers to respond positively to duty calls. There is no other way to see your children grow responsibly and to see the family grow stronger and bonded everyday but to lead the way. I call also the mothers to let the husbands be the FATHER he ought to be. There is no other way to pass the legacy of paternal responsibility but by putting the fathers to its RIGHTFUL PLACE.

Frustrated with Net Cafés

2006-02-02T18:49:00.000-08:00

I’ve been trying to post some pictures in my web logs since yesterday. And I’ve tried downloading photohosting softwares but blocked by the Café’s system administrators. If only I have my own computer I will not encounter this problem. What can I do? I don’t have a budget yet to buy one. Grrrrr........ 7:-)

You Inspired Me to Write

2006-01-19T19:07:00.000-08:00

To those who read my article “Right & Wrong Motives Of A Relationship” and posted a comment afterwards, thank you so much. You inspired me again to return to my passion – writing.

Several years ago, after winning inter-university essay writing contest someone told me I don’t know how to write. That devastated me so much I stopped writing. Silly of me but it never crossed my mind I already won a competition. I focused on the negative comment instead rather than in my achievement. Perhaps I was still immature and too egoistic at that time to accept criticisms, which I know now, became my losses. However, because of your comments, I am ready to take the world once again. That is why; from time to time you may read my articles drawn from daily experiences. It is my desire then to inspire you just as you inspired me. Thank you once again and keep on reading.

(Your comments was unintentionally deleted since I was still learning how to post blogs at that time. My apologies.)

BLISS IN DEATH'S EMBRACE

2006-01-05T02:32:00.000-08:00

The leaves of the avocado tree rustled softly as the chilly wind blew on that cold December night. Just a stone throw away, silhoutted against the light of the full moon stood a native house with roof made of weaved nipa leaves and bamboo slabs for walls modernized for comfort. In a distance, a hushed blast of a bamboo canon was heard adding to the joyful singing of the carolers whose singing were muted occassionally by the shrill sound of the passing motor vehicles. The singing of the cicadas from the trees behind the native house added to the cacophony of sounds evoking festivity to the hearers of this early December night.

Inside the house, the atmosphere was foreboding and eerie, a direct contrast to the festive air outside. Three figures cried softly as they gathered before the fragile looking Brigitte whose frailty was well defined by her emaciated body defeated by a four-year struggle against heart disease. With eyes dimmed, her bony hands reached out to grasp the glass of water handed by her sister to quench her thirst but missed. Her sister Dorothy sang her requested song without a hint of raw emotion yet tears freely flowed from her cheeks. One of her daughters, Charlene was kneeling applying a therapeutic massage to her already pale aching limbs while Neeve, the other daughter laid her head on the crook of her arms. Between the sporadic breathing of their dying mother, their teary eyes locked in recognition of an impending death knowing that this precious moment will be their last together. Seconds turn to minutes, minutes to hours...... until in the stillness of the dawn, where only the tickling of the wall clock and the singing of the cicadas remained to be heard, Brigitte summoned all her strength calling the attention of her sister and daughters. Bidding goodbye, she took the final gulp of air, bowed her head and breath her last.

They all wailed in agony of parting as they witnessed her demise. Dorothy cried unashamedly now without reservation while calling her name. The voice that sang the song "I Will Be Here" a while ago trembled with emotion and her proud shoulders sagged in resignation. After sometime, with so many tears flowing from their eyes, the daughters hugged and kissed their dead mother and laid her down to rest. No longer will they see her agony and her inability to lay down. No longer will they hear her travail and her ragged breathing. At last, in death's embrace BLISS HAS COME.

(The story is the true account of my friend's death. How did I know so much of her death? I was there too.)

Right & Wrong Motives of a Relationship

2006-01-05T02:28:00.000-08:00

In the advent of modern technology today in the field of communication, many are still disconnected. Cell phones, telephones, Internets and other gadgets used in communication are already becoming fastly sophisticated. But why many of us are still groping in the dark for a meaningful relationship with someone else? Why do we feel disconnected and lost? Perhaps, we have already meet people and became acquainted with them. But why do this feeling remain? I think the answer is not in the gadgets we used but in the way we deal and contain those relationships we have with other people. Sad to say, this is the area we are lacking so much instruction and experience.

I think the first thing we must check is the motive of the relationship. Ask yourself this question: "Why do I want to be identified with this person? Why do I want to establish a relationship with him? What benefit would I get in hooking up with him?" If your answer is having a hint of self-interest, then the motive of the relationship is already wrong. Therefore, this kind of relationship will tend to collapse when your expectation fails you. I think the questions you will ask yourself before making connection with anybody else are: "What can I give to this person I want to have a relationship with? Will I be there for him when he needed me? What limits of my availability can I offer to him?" What I am trying to say is that, focus on what you can do in the relationship. Do not wait for the other to initiate it first if you want a good and meaningful relationship. Why I am saying this because I believe in a universal truth about sowing and reaping. It says, "You reap what you sow". In you find yourself in a relationship that goes sour, try to think if you contributed to it. You will be surprised of what you will discover.